• 追加された行はこの色です。
  • 削除された行はこの色です。
https://talknchat.net/read-blog/9340
https://www.emazoo.com/blogs/96655/Bad-Ass-Surgeon-Attitude-You-Should-Re-Create
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Especially in this corner of the internet, people overestimate the “beauty contest” nature of love. Your mental model is that men walk around displaying alpha cred or social status, and women walk around showing their attractiveness. If that’s the entire extent of your model, you’re likely to end up alone, because you’ll be too caught up in competing in the beauty contest to actually fall in love. In addition, beauty contest traits are largely interchangeable. You can replace hot women with other hot women and men with other men. Falling in love involves some matching or mutual fascination with each others’ individually idiosyncratic traits. And if someone doesn’t love your individually idiosyncratic traits, they won’t be loyal.
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https://www.abracomex.org/aula-inaugural-mba-gestao-juridica-aduaneira-e-internacional?unapproved=52194&moderation-hash=657d8233aab2d2fcb82f1649e32344c1#comment-52194
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https://www.cmpadvisors.com/content/new-hampshire-champion-christmas-tree?page=10#comment-1464816

And if you spend all your time cultivating your “beauty contest” traits at the expense of your idiosyncratic traits, you’ll be desirable, but not lovable.

Many a “beta” male induces far more loyalty from his women that many an “alpha” male, because the beta male has more unique and individual idiosyncratic traits that are less substitutable with other men. The alpha can easily be discarded for another alpha (unless he “marries down” far enough).
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aoefe PERMALINK
November 21, 2009 5:50 pm
Keith great comment – thanks.


david foster PERMALINK
November 21, 2009 7:24 pm
Re “checklists,” a couple of thoughts:

1)Capt Chesley Sullenberger (hero of the airliner landing on the Hudson river) emphasizes the importance of “goal sacrificing” in aviation safety. In his case, for example, he sacrificed an important goal–saving a $50 million airplane–for increased certainty of a achieving an even more important goal: saving lives.

Maybe the same concept is applicable with relationships.

2)It’s probably inevitable that people will make lists of desired criteria–for relationships, jobs, employees, houses, etc–but these lists can miss the concept of Gestalt. Could you create a checklist for detecting great art? (If you could, you could probably write a computer program to produce it–but you can’t)

A high match score on the checklist doesn’t really guarantee the spark.


aoefe PERMALINK
November 21, 2009 7:40 pm
I agree David – the one thing you can’t predict will be there, even with all the great attributes is spark. There is nothing great about proceeding without some ignition. :)


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